I am in a vortex of obligation.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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