Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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