I must be too annoying 4 u.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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