lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
