i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
