so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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