Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
