thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
