After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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