From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
