I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
