Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
