How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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