Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
