Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize