She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
