I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
