U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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