my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
