just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
