does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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