Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I need to sanitize my soul.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
