Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Buhtt sex?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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