What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
and she was petting her beer can
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
