And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize