ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
