If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize