So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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