Cold hands, warm shart.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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