Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
