Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize