she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
