there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
accomplished twins. life is a go
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
