Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i wish my penis had a tongue
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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