wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
