hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
