I accidentally burped into my bong.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize