what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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