I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
