Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
