I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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