Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
