at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
The ass gains better be worth it
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