oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
