You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize