come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
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I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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