My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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