The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
