It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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