If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
