he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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