but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
