Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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