there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
