ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i would punch a child for taco bell
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
