My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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