i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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