walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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