I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
