so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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