So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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