All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
