Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
