ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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