How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
